23 January 2010


Marriages fall out everyday. Couples say that they tried but it didn’t work out. They are heart broken. Slowly, they heal their emotional scars and try again. But the hurt of the first marriage still lingers somewhere and transforms into their lives again.

Some common reasons why marriages fail are:

1) Fault finding or criticism are hurtful. It involves attacking someone’s nature rather than their behaviour. This hurts the self esteem of the person.

2) Intimacy is crucial in a marriage. Everyone needs and wants to be cared for and nurtured. If this is deprived then the marriage is sure to fail.

3) Nagging and complaining leads to annoyance. It is good to vent out problems but doing that too often is not healthy. Communicate, discuss and resolve your differences rather than bringing them up and arguing over them daily.

4) Stonewalling your partner because you don’t want to deal with the problem. A partner may feel overwhelmed by emotions and problems that the relationship is facing so he/she can withdraw himself/herself. They avoid confrontations by remaining silent, avoid eye contact and decide to sleep early rather than opening and resolving their feelings.

5) Adjustment is the foundation of any marriage. If you are going to live together then you have to give in to your spouse’s good and bad habits. Many find various habits of their partner irritating and annoying.

6) Infidelity can range from a one night drunken mistake to a long term, planned affair. Infidelity happens when feelings of depression, stress or just being overwhelmed with the pressures of life can cause some people to neglect their appearance and hygiene. Another reason for looking outside the marriage is when couples become very demanding. A wife or husband may not realize that nagging and complaining is demanding. It puts a lot of pressure on a spouse to be a certain way for the other. And if they are unable to follow the desired wishes and commands then they start searching for peace outside the house.

Marriages can work if each one understands the other with empathy, communicates openly and stand by each other, taking marriage as a lifelong commitment.

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